


A Certain Night, Under the Cover of the Moon

by LookingGlassInsect



Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)
Genre: Emilia Breaking Down, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Subaru Being a Dick, post arc 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:20:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28388421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LookingGlassInsect/pseuds/LookingGlassInsect
Summary: POST ARC 4.In a room at the Roswaal Family Mansion, Subaru has some choice words to say to Emilia, who finds herself unable to meet his gaze.
Relationships: Emilia/Natsuki Subaru
Comments: 24
Kudos: 124





	A Certain Night, Under the Cover of the Moon

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so, first time writing anything. Constructive criticism is welcome, as there's likely a lot of margin for improvement.
> 
> Happens a few months after Subaru's knighthood ceremony. Rem is awake because it's convenient. Don't think about it too much.
> 
> Enjoy.

“Useless!”

It was evening at the Roswaal mansion. In the building’s easternmost wing, a room had been designated for the royal candidate supported by the current head of the Mathers family. In that room, at this very moment, two people were engaged in conversation. Or perhaps “conversation” was too strong a word.

The occupants were a half-elf girl clad in a simple pink nightgown, sitting on the Queen-sized bed located in a corner of the room. The remnants of the evening sun made her silver-hair shine a beautiful gold, and her moist eyes gleam like gemstones even as they looked down, seemingly unable to meet the other person’s gaze. And gazing down at the girl stood a boy with black hair and dark eyes wearing his signature tracksuit, arms crossed and face contracted into an expression of anger and disgust.

“Completely useless. Irredeemably useless. How much longer are you going to keep wasting everyone’s… My time like this?”

The girl, Emilia, hugged her trembling body tight and stared at the boy’s feet, looking as if she could break into tears at any moment. 

“I thought there were limits to incompetence, but I have to thank you Emilia. You’ve taught me once again how naive I am, believing in a failure like you. Seriously, do you think this is a joke!? Or are you just doing this on purpose!?”

Emilia cowered in fear of the rising anger and strength in his voice. The tears she’d been barely containing now flowed freely down her cheeks and onto her lap. Subaru scoffed at her silence.

“It would be better if it was just an act. At least, there’d be some hope. But it isn’t, is it? You really are this stupid.”

In frustration, Subaru sat down by her side and brought his hands to his head. As he pondered his next move, the girl gripped his jacket with both hands and pulled herself onto his chest, wetting it with her tears. The sight brought revulsion to his face.

“And now what, you’re crying in the chest of the one who’s insulting you? You’re desperate for attention and validation, so you’ll act all cute and sad hoping I’ll take pity on you and comfort you? Disgusting.”

The girl strengthened her grip on his jacket, crying all the while. Sobs she was no longer able to hold back came from her lips, and she kept shaking her head as if wanting to deny Subaru’s words, while failing to offer any retort.

“Nothing new I guess. I don’t know why I even expected something this time in the first place. This is how you always are: all-mouth and incompetent. You make big claims, and while everyone else cleans up after your uselessness you take advantage of their affection to feel better about yourself. Just like a little witch, uh!?”

Subaru’s thorned words picked at the greatest scars in Emilia’s heart. Seeing the girl’s trembling grow ever stronger, he gently ran his fingers through her silver hair. It was soft. So soft.

He leaned in and whispered into her ear.

“Rem, you know? She’s always been good to me. Every time I’m with her, she makes me smile. She never complains when things are tough, and when she decides to do something, she’ll stop at nothing to accomplish it. And when I’m down, when I feel doubts about who I am and what I’ve done, she’ll be there to help me up without fail. I feel like I can always trust her. She loves me, you know?”

He could feel the girl in his chest calming down slightly. Was it the way his tone had turned gentle? Nevertheless…

“So I’ve been thinking, I should just take her and Beako with me, and go somewhere else together.”

“…”

He heard a gasp. Her surprise brought a malicious grin to Subaru’s face.

“We’ll go to some other country. I believe Rem liked Kararagi? We’ll buy a house for the three of us. I’ve got a lot of money saved up from my wages as a knight, and Rem should have her own savings.”

Low whimpers started reaching his ears as the girl’s trembling once more intensified. Sensing this, his grin widened. 

“It’ll be a simple life, but I’m sure we’ll be happy. I mean, anything is better than babysitting a hundred-year-old cry-baby when she has her tantrums.”

“Noooo…nononoo…” For the first time, Emilia voiced an attempt to refute his words.

He pulled the girl from his chest and pulled up her chin, forcing the trembling violet to stare directly at his eyes. She recoiled from the contact, but couldn’t find the strength to break free from his forceful grip. 

“Garfiel and Otto would also leave. After all, they’re only here because I’m here. They never gave a fuck about you.”

“Subawuu…” She shakes her head manically, as if trying to wake from a nightmare. Her narrowing eyes struggled to hold back tears, and her body convulsed in an attempt to hold back her sobs, clinging to the ephemeral hope that her calling his name would release her from torment. But that hope was quickly dashed.

“Petra only came to the mansion because of me, so I guess she’d go back to the village. She always wanted to be a seamstress after all, it would be good of her to follow her dreams. Frederica… She’d be torn between following after Garfiel and continuing serving Roswaal. But it doesn’t matter.”

“Subawuuu Shubawuu Shubawuuuu” Emilia kept chanting his name as if possessed. As if it would bring her salvation. Weakly, she repeatedly tried to hide her face back in his chest, but Subaru’s hand wouldn’t let her tearful gaze run away.

“After all, Roswaal only ever needed me. Everything you ever did, everything you ever tried to do, everything you ever wanted to do? All garbage. No one ever cared about any of it. From the very beginning, the only point to you was bringing me to his side. When I leave, he and Ram will have no use for you. They’ll throw you out like trash, and all you’ll have to look forward to in life is an eternity of polishing the statues of the people you froze yourself.”

At some point, Emilia had given up begging and just sobbed uncontrollably. Her face was contorted in anguish and fear, but never once did her eyes leave his. That, he made sure of.

“It should be no surprise to you. No one ever cared for you. In your own selfishness you even made sure to push Puck away, the only one in the world who ever really felt affection for you. Even if it was only because he was literally made for you.”

With the hand still in her hair, he pulled the crumbling girl’s face closer to his own. Close enough that her amethyst eyes filled his entire vision. Close enough to smell her hot, irregular breaths.

“In the end, you’re just a tumour. A worthless tumour leeching off the goodwill of others and giving only pain in return, and a half-demon whore who exists only to ruin everything she touches!!”

At the climax of his words, practically screamed into her ears, Emilia’s strength failed her. Her hands which had been holding onto his chest for dear life now hung limply at her sides. The only thing keeping her from falling over were his hands, still holding her head up to his. Tears fell freely from the eyes reflecting his own, once bright and full of life, now dull and empty. He took dark pleasure in the knowledge that the expression of pain, anguish, and fear on her face, and the extraordinary mixture of emotions which only accentuated her otherworldly features, painted a picture that belonged to himself and no one else. Her value, personality, and dreams having been so thoroughly denied by the one she trusted most, the ditzy and naïve, yet kind and determined half-elf he’d fallen in love with had shed her ego. All that remained was a cowardly little girl, hated by the world.

At the sight of this masterpiece of innocence and beauty, Subaru’s thoughts ground to a halt for a moment. Then, carefully, slowly, as if trying to keep something precious from shattering, he brought the broken girl into his arms, gently laying her head on his chest, letting her feel his heartbeat and hugging her tight.

And, lowering his head to her own, bringing his mouth up to her ear, he whispered:

“I love you, Emilia.”

A shudder passes through her body. Satisfied with the effect of his out-of-place confession, Subaru ran a hand through her hair as he continued.

“I love you. I love love love you! Every gesture you make, every expression, every word you speak entrances me. Your gaze makes me feel more alive than anything else. When you call my name, it’s like my heart flies up to the heavens. Everything you do, every emotion you show, all of it, all of it, shines like a beacon in the darkness to me.”

Emilia’s arms wrap across his back with renewed strength, pulling their bodies even closer together. Feeling faint from her body heat, Subaru continued confessing the feelings that forever remained unchanged in his heart.

“You are my reason for living. Everything I’ve ever done, all that I’ve accomplished, is because you inspire me to greatness. My single desire is to stay at your side, smiling alongside you as you fulfil your dreams. Emilia, I…”

Without warning, he felt himself thrown down onto the bed. Looking up he saw Emilia pinning him down with strength he’d normally never believe existed in such thin arms. The sun had since set, and the beauty of her figure, strands of silver hair wrapped in moonlight dripping from the sides of her head onto his face, and her narrowed eyes and cherry lips, wrapped into a lustful grin, stole his breath away. The remnants of tears marred the otherwise artistic sight, but even they shone like pearls under the moon. 

For all of a second the two drowned in each other’s gaze, until she drew closer and pressed her mouth onto his.

The surprise led him to open his teeth and her tongue didn’t waste the opportunity, invading his body and exploring his mouth. As he melted with the heat created by the forceful kiss, her arms went under his jacket and started exploring his back, tracing his muscles and scars through the thin shirt covering him as if ensuring themselves of his existence. His own hands hungrily caressed her abdomen and nape, pressing her into him.

Eventually the lack of oxygen forced their lips to part, leaving the pair desperately gasping for breath. 

As the excitement of the moment died down, Emilia’s eyes turned gentle and her lips curved into a small smile. She gave him a light peck on the lips before setting her head on his chest, snuggling against his body and entwining their legs with an expression of pure bliss on her face. Subaru kept one of his arms around her and used his free hand to comb her hair, and the two remained like that for a while, just enjoying each other’s presence and warmth.

“Thank you Subaru”

A voice like a silver bell cut through the silence. Contrasting with the desperation and fear that had consumed it just minutes before, it was now calm and gentle like the surface of a lake.

“You’re reeealy getting better at this.”

“…I’m not sure how to feel about that.”

There’s something weird about becoming better at insulting the one you love, he thought.

“You always say that, but you seem to get into it more and more every time. You even got a scary smile this time.”

That also didn’t make him feel any better.

“Say Emilia… Shouldn’t we stop this? The way you get sometimes during these… sessions, it scares me.”

“Mmm, but I know my knight will always pull me back.” Emilia looks up at him with a gentle expression. “Forever by my side, protecting me, fighting for me. The knight I’m so proud of. Besides…” Her gaze narrows in mischief. “You’re one to talk, considering the things you ask me to do sometimes.”

At her teasing, Subaru chuckled.

“While I’m no saint, I still feel like this goes a bit far. I mean, you even went to the trouble of learning wind magic for this.”

He looked towards the room’s door. As any quality bedroom in a noble mansion, the walls and floor were thick and unlikely to leak any sound. The door, which would be the sole weak point in this protection, was covered in a silent barrier of wind. Supposedly, it kept sound from passing through to the other side.

“Mhmm, you’d be surprised at the possibilities a large pool of mana allows, even with no affinity for other elements. It was necessary to ensure our privacy.” Emilia said proudly.

“And I’m grateful for that. Anyone hearing even a sentence of that would get me the death penalty. But still, do you really enjoy it this much? It feels… degrading.”

He felt Emilia snuggle up against him again. Looking back at her, she’d closed her eyes with a peaceful expression.

“…It reminds me of that time at the Tomb.”

Thinking back, it was when everything started.

“I was lost and afraid, and when I ran away from everything and tried to abandon myself, you came and told me all those things.” A smile graced her lips. “Sometimes I just want to relive that moment. Something so precious to me.”

It was a feeling he could comprehend. Everyone sometimes felt a desire to look back at the moments that shaped them and remember what they lost and gained. He was happy she trusted him to help her with it, but…

“That’s very cute of you, but to me it just looks like you get off on being abused.”

“Subaru!” Emilia supported herself with her arms and lifted herself from his chest, looking sternly at him. “That’s not something you should say to a lady you... you… you nincompoop!”

“I love how you thought about it so hard and still only came up with something a grandma would say.” 

Emilia gave a cute pout.

“Geez, if this is how you treat your lady I’m not going to be taking you to official events anymore Subaru.”

At the sight of Emilia closing her eyes and turning her head to the side with a “Humph”, Subaru could only chuckle.

Perhaps it was fine to have strange fetishes. As she’d pointed out, she was happy to fulfil whatever strange requests he came up with. Surely, he could do the same? Ignoring the slight feeling of apprehension remaining in his chest, his mouth curved into a grin as he set about teasing the half-elf. 

“And what is my dearest Emilia-tan going to do to set her foolish knight on the right path?”

Emilia turned back to him and regained a teasing smile of her own.

“Mmm, I’ll have to teach him how to properly treat a lady now won’t I?”

At this, Emilia slowly leaned closer. Her eyes had regained the lustful gaze she’d show not too long ago, and she began slowly and rhythmically removing his jacket. His own excitement began to rise at the sight of the beautiful fairy clad in moonlight as he let himself be undressed.

“How much longer will the noise cancelling last?”

“Longer than you ever will.”

“Oh oh… Is this a challenge? You should know I’m not one to back down after hearing something like that.”

“I’m expecting a good fight, my beloved knight.”

Her hands, busy peeling away his layers, suddenly slowed down.

Wondering what was wrong, he saw Emilia take on a forlorn expression.

“You’ll never leave me, right Subaru?”

He lifted his torso and held tight the body of the one most precious to him. With a kiss, he silenced any doubts that could creep up into her heart. As they tasted the burning flame of their touch, each felt boundless joy at the other’s existence.

Under the cover of the moon, the two lovers joined together in youthful passion. 

It was just another blissful day, scattered amidst the ever-growing stress of the Royal Selection.

**Author's Note:**

> Original idea based upon something u/nafissyed on reddit posted. It was something like "Emilia is a pervert that gets off on insults".


End file.
